hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
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