I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
