Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(253): View more from Washington

I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.

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(631): View more from New York

the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.

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(602): View more from Arizona

hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad

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(845): View more from New York

Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.

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(903): View more from Texas

Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later

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(347): View more from New York

asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.

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(281): View more from Texas

I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass

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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail

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(727): View more from Florida

I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.

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