I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Did you just see the Batmobile???
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Randomize
