Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
