Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
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