This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
operation have a gay friend backfired
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
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