This dress was meant to end up on your floor
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Randomize
