anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
