Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
