just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
