Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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