I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Randomize
