OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
