Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
