We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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