This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
