She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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