i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".