It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
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