i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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