Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize