Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
