i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
