my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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