take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
