Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
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