There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize
