if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Alive.
So much puke
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Randomize
