sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
it glows. i had to have it.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Randomize