My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
