My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
