ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
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