i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
PS: I just woke up from my shower
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
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