these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
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