obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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