Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
