Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
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