and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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