I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
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Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
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I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
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