i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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