the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
My feet surprised me
Randomize
