he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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