If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
