THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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