Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
