I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Randomize
