She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
