This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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