There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Randomize
