He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
