By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
