that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
