i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
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I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
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There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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