Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
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Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
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You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize