i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
third nipple confirmed
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
