Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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