whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
