i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
He better not be in your backpack
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Randomize
