i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
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