yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
