you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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