I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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