I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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